"You wanna win the lottery, you gotta make the money to buy the ticket."
-Jake Gyllenhaal as Louis Bloom, "Nightcrawler"
Oh, man, look at that awesome collage!................It's awesome 'cause I made it
2014 wasn't as rock-solid of a year as 2013 in terms of movies, but was still a solid year. If you think about it, there were a lot more movies I saw from 2014(207 in 2013 vs 250+ in 2014), thus resulting in more movies seen that could be of a lesser or higher quality.
Before you ask why this is coming out in MAY, There's a simple answer: I don't see every movie in theaters(although I do see a lot) so I have to wait until movies come out to physical media to watch them. I have seen every single nationwide release from the year along with a lot in between, so I could give every movie a fair chance.
First, I list my favorite performances of the year with the absolute best highlighted in bold. Then, I talk about my choosing for underrated and overrated films, the greatest movie moments of the year and, finally, the 20 worst and best films of the year with respective dishonorable and honorable mentions. So if you're ever on Netflix(I don't have one), This list could prove helpful when deciding what(and what not) to watch.
Also, please note that this took many, many hours to make so please enjoy!
Also, please note that this took many, many hours to make so please enjoy!
Best Actor(Best is in bold)
Ben Affleck-"Gone Girl"
Jason Bateman-This Is Where I Leave You"
Macon Blair-"Blue Ruin"
Chadwick Boseman-"Get On Up"
Nicholas Cage-"Joe"
Steve Carell-"Foxcatcher"
Ellar Coltrane-"Boyhood"
Steve Coogan-"Alan Partridge"
Bradley Cooper-"American Sniper"
Kevin Costner-"3 Days To Kill"
Tom Cruise-"Edge Of Tomorrow"
John Cusack-"Adult World"
Charlie Day-"Horrible Bosses 2"
Dane DeHaan-"Life After Beth"
Robert Downey Jr.-"The Judge"
Chris Evans-"Captain America: The Winter Soldier"
Jon Faverau-"Chef"
Frank Grillo-"The Purge: Anarchy"
Jake Gyllenhaal-"Enemy"
Jake Gyllenhaal-"Nightcrawler"
Tom Hardy-"Locke"
Tom Hardy-"The Drop"
Jonah Hill-"22 Jump Street"
Phillip Seymour Hoffman-"A Most Wanted Man"
Oscar Issac-"A Most Violent Year"
Hugh Jackman-"X-Men: Days Of Future Past"
Michael Keaton-"Birdman Or (The Unexpected Virtue Of Ignorance)"
Jude Law-"Dom Hemingway"
Jaeden Lieberher-"St. Vincent"
James McAvoy-"Filth"
Matthew McConaaughey-"Interstellar"
Bill Murray-"St. Vincent"
Guy Pearce-"The Rover"
Joaquin Phoenix-"Inherent Vice"
Brad Pitt-"Fury"
Chris Pratt-"Guardians Of The Galaxy"
Daniel Radcliffe-"What If"
Eddie Redmayne-"The Theory Of Everything"
Keanu Reeves-"John Wick"
Paul Rudd-"They Came Together"
Dan Stevens-"The Guest"
Channing Tatum-"22 Jump Street"
Channing Tatum-"Foxcatcher"
Mark Wahlberg-"The Gambler"
Paul Walker-"Brick Mansions"
Christoph Waltz-"Big Eyes"
Denzel Washington-"The Equalizer"
Elijah Wood-"Grand Piano"
Donnie Yen-"Special ID"
Best Actress
Amy Adams-"Big Eyes"
Jessica Alba-"Sin City: A Dame To Kill For"
Jennifer Aniston-"Cake"
Jennifer Aniston-"Life Of Crime"
Patricia Arquette-"Boyhood"
Kristen Bell-"Veronica Mars"
Emily Blunt-"Edge Of Tomorrow"
Emily Blunt-"Into The Woods"
Rose Byrne-"Neighbors"
Jessica Chastain-"A Most Violent Year"
Tina Fey-"This Is Where I Leave You"
Anne Hathaway-"Interstellar"
Scarlett Johansson-"Lucy"
Scarlett Johansson-"Under The Skin"
Angelina Jolie-"Maleficent"
Felicity Jones-"The Theory Of Everything"
Zoe Kazan-"What If"
Anna Kendrick-"Happy Christmas"
Keira Knightley-"Begin Again"
Keira Knightley-"Laggies"
Jennifer Lawrence-"The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1"
Melissa McCarthy-"St. Vincent"
Sienna Miller-"American Sniper"
Chloe Grace Moretz-"If I Stay"
Chloe Grace Moretz-"The Tale Of The Princess Kaguya"
Rosamund Pike-"Gone Girl"
Amy Poehler-"They Came Together"
Noomi Rapace-"The Drop"
Emma Roberts-"Adult World"
Emma Roberts-"Palo Alto"
Zoe Saldana-"Guardians Of The Galaxy"
Jenny Slate-"Obvious Child"
Jing Tian-"Special ID"
Katherine Waterson-"Inherent Vice"
Reese Witherspoon-"Wild"
Best Supporting Actor
Josh Brolin-"Inherent Vice"
Ty Burrell-"Muppets Most Wanted"
Michael Caine-"Interstellar"
Bradley Cooper-"Guardians Of The Galaxy"
Kevin Costner-"Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit"
Bryan Cranston-"Godzilla"
Ice Cube-"22 Jump Street"
John Cusack-"Grand Piano"
Matt Damon-"Interstellar"
Johnny Depp-"Tusk"
Vin Diesel-"Guardians Of The Galaxy"
Robert Duvall-"The Judge"
Zac Efron-"Neighbors"
Zach Galifiniakis-"Birdman Or (The Unexpected Virtue Of Ignorance)"
James Gandolfini-"The Drop"
Mel Gibson-"The Expendables 3"
John Goodman-"The Gambler"
Neil Patrick Harris-"A Million Ways To Die In The West"
Neil Patrick Harris-"Gone Girl"
Ethan Hawke-"Boyhood"
Phillip Seymour Hoffman-"The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1"
Samuel L. Jackson-"Captain America: The Winter Soldier"
Richard Jenkins-"Lullaby"
Stacy Keach-"If I Stay"
Joseph Gordon-Levitt-"Sin City: A Dame To Kill For"
James McAvoy-"X-Men: Days Of Future Past"
T.J. Miller-"Transformers: Age Of Extinction"
Liam Neeson-"The LEGO Movie"
Edward Norton-"Birdman Or (The Unexpected Virtue Of Ignorance)"
Edward Norton-"The Grand Budapest Hotel"
Michael Parks-"Tusk"
Robert Pattinson-"The Rover"
John C. Reiley-"Life After Beth"
Sam Rockwell-"Laggies"
Mark Ruffalo-"Foxcatcher"
Martin Short-"Inherent Vice"
Robin Williams-"Night At The Museum: Secret Of The Tomb"
Owen Wilson-"Inherent Vice"
Best Supporting Actress
Jennifer Aniston-"Horrible Bosses 2"
Jessica Chastain-"Interstellar"
Carrie Coon-"Gone Girl"
Laura Dern-"The Fault In Our Stars"
Vera Farmiga-"The Judge"
Isla Fischer-"Life Of Crime"
Scarlett Johansson-"Captain America: The Winter Soldier"
Anna Kendrick-"Cake"(TIE)
Anna Kendrick-"Into The Woods"(TIE)
Lorelai Linklater-"Boyhood"
Jena Malone-"Inherent Vice"
Leslie Mann-"The Other Woman"
Rachel Melvin-"Dumb And Dumber To"
Julianne Moore-"The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1"
Chloe Grace Moretz-"Laggies"
Chloe Grace Moretz-"The Equalizer"
Rene Russo-"Nightcrawler"
Molly Shannon-"Life After Beth"
Emma Stone-"Birdman Or (The Unexpected Virtue Of Ignorance)"
Emma Stone-"The Amazing Spider-Man 2"
Reese Witherspoon-"Inherent Vice"
The Most Overrated Film Of 2014
"The Babadook"
Scareless and more boring and irritating rather than interesting, "The Babadook" makes me sleepy just by thinking about it.
Overrated Runners-Up: "Afflicted", "Belle", "Cesar Chavez", "Flowers In The Attic", "Oculus", "Petals On The Wind", "The Motel Life", "The Pirate Fairy" and "Willow Creek"
The Most Underrated Film Of 2014
"3 Days To Kill": Brutally beaten upon release by critics, "3 Days To Kill" is Costner's return to leading man status. He plays a CIA agent who's trying to maintain a stable relationship with his ex-wife and his daughter all while trying to complete another mission. While there are only two criticisms I have against the film(The sloppy editing to get a PG-13 and an extremely pointless scene set in an erotic dancing club(not strip-club, mind you)) The film's acting is done well and the action scenes are wonderful to watch. Supporting roles by Amber Heard and Hailee Steinfeld make flesh out Costner's character and gives him charisma and heart. Jokes involving him conducting business while spending time with his daughter and his ringtone being "I Love It" by Icona Pop, you would expect to fail, but in the end work out well. Costner hasn't done to many straight-up action films. judging from this film, I hope he does more. Kevin Costner doesn't get all of the credit he deserves and I'm so happy to see that he has more movies coming out in the years to come.
Underrated Runners-Up: "A Million Ways To Die In The West", "Brick Mansions", "Horrible Bosses 2", "Night At The Museum: Secret Of The Tomb", "Sin City: A Dame To Kill For", "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles"and "The Amazing Spider-Man 2"
The Top 10 Greatest Movie Moments Of 2014(WARNING: May contain spoilers!)
#10. By the time the opening number of "Muppets Most Wanted" comes on, your toes are already tapping in this quite funny piece entitled "We're Doing a Sequel".
#9. Jake Gyllenhaal versus his mirror in "Nightcrawler" shows just how unhinged his character is.
#8. The intense and also, very funny spring break climax from "22 Jump Street".
#7. The final scene from "American Sniper" is truly heartbreaking, showing both the last day and funeral service of the late Chris Kyle.
#6. The "Home Alone"-style climax in the home department store "Home Mart" as Denzel opens up a can of "Washington Whoop-Ass" in "The Equalizer".
#5. The battle with the Xianliu in "Night At The Museum: Secret Of The Tomb".
#4. The revelation of what our future world might look like at the very end of "Interstellar".
#3. While a great film, watching Tom Cruise die multiple times and learning from his mistakes is very captivating and also amusing in "Edge Of Tomorrow".
#2. The final 10 minutes of "Grand Piano" featuring an intense standoff between John Cusack and Elijah Wood, clinging on for dear life in the rafters above a piano concerto is enough to push you off of your seat.
#1. The club shoot-out from "John Wick" hauntingly scored to one for the most beautiful songs ever created, "THINK" by Kaleida, as it drapes over the proceedings. This is by far, the best action scene of the year.
The Worst Films Of 2014
Dishonorable Mentions: "Addicted", "A Good Man", "A Long Way Down", "As Above, So Below", "Authors Anonymous", "Beethoven's Treasure Tail", "Behind Enemy Lines: Seal Team 8", "Belle", "Cesar Chavez", "Flowers In The Attic", "Grumpy Cat's Worst Christmas", "Hercules", "Jarhead 2: Field Of Fire", "Knights Of Badassdom", "Labor Day", "Leprechaun: Origins", "Mom's Night Out", "Mr. Jones", "Petals On The Wind". "Peter Pan Live!", "Son Of God", "Step Up: All In", "The Babadook", "The Little Rascals Save The Day", "The Pirate Fairy", "The Prince", "White Bird In A Blizzard" and "Winter's Tale"
Why only 17? Because the other worst films were films that I really couldn't find a whole lot to talk about. Enjoy though!
17. "Devil's Due"
It's "Rosermary's Baby", only with more possession elements than before! And it's found footage?! Sign me up! Oh. my God this sucked! The first ten minutes show some actual potential and set up the main couple as two people to genuinely care for, but by the end, it''s just the same ol' song and dance. The actual possession aspect of it is quite dreadful to endure and the actors change from likeable to strangely awkward by the 10 minute mark. Acclaimed horror director and enthusiast Eli Roth praised this film, so by him giving the film positive attention when it didn't look good to begin with, a small glimmer of hope emerged. Well, turns out, Mr. Roth was wrong. It's not original, but instead,a run of the mill, generic, silly horror film of the 21st century. Filmmakers have to learn that found footage is not scary anymore, it's run it's course and it needs to die a quick and easy death.16. "Willow Creek"
15. "The Legend Of Hercules"
The second movie released this year happens to be one of the worst. Not that big of a surprise seeings as how the trailer couldn't even muster up that exciting of a reaction. Kellan Lutz plays the eponymous title character and mostly swings a sword around while screaming things that only gives an old person a wrinkle of excitement. The film looks very muddy and murky, making this the most unpleasant film to look at this year, the acting is quite unsatisfactory and the action takes to long to even reach a point. By the time the film ends, the viewer has long given up before than to care about what happens to these characters. The later "Hercules" film with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson wasn't very good, but at least that benefited from having him in the lead role, and he's one of the most charming men alive. What does Kellan Lutz have? Abs? Big whoop.14. "The Nut Job"
It's been a good long while since I've seen an animated film this wholly terrible. Animated films are supposed to be fun, fluffy little pieces of entertainment. Instead, "The Nut Job" treats it's audience of children like a dumb sack of hair and somehow gets worse from there. It's "The Italian Job" for children, with squirrels trying to pull off a nut heist in the 1950's. Oh, and Psy shows up at the end to do "Gangnam Style" with the squirrels. Wish I could be joking. The animation looks considerably cheaper than an animated movie of this kind should look. The voice acting, with the exception of Brendan Fraser, is all off, feeling as if no one wanted to be here. Hey, who could blame 'em? If your child has a desire to see this film, promptly tell them "No" and hand them a copy of "Muppets Most Wanted" instead. And the fact that in January 2016, we have a sequel arriving proves that Hollywood just doesn't care anymore.13. "The Best Of Me"
You know, I have to credit "The Best Of Me" for one thing, and one thing only: It was the inspiration for my love story "Amour". I was sitting around reading reviews for the film the day it came out and asked why Hollywood couldn't just make a movie about a couple meeting under NORMAL circumstances and follow them throughout their relationship? 8 hours later, "The concept for "Amour" was born. As far as the movie goes, it's your typical Nicholas Sparks dreck. And let's talk about this "writer" for a second: He doesn't write about true love, he writes for 13-17 year old girls, giving them false hope that one day they'll meet a heavily bearded Ryan Gosling or an extremely chiseled Channing Tatum. The acting is quite poor and the whole subplot touching on abuse is borderline offensive in how laughable it is. Abuse is nothing to joke about, but if you want to feature it as a plot point, then don't be a total jackass about it.
12. "Afflicted"
You know, I was looking forward to this movie. I had heard good reviews. It's even rated "Fresh" on Rotten Tomatoes. Yeah, I refuse to trust Rotten Tomaters anymore. First they give "Pitch Perfect" an 81%(Oh, there WILL be a review on "Pitch Perfect 2". I haven't forgotten about that...) and they rate this fresh, too? What's really frustrating is that the first 10-12 minutes are really good! The film follows two friends going on a journey across the world before one of them passes away from an illness. Promising, right? Well, that get's thrown right out the window and switches to a found-footage film with one of them getting a virus that gives them supernatural abilities. Ooooh, just exciting! Gag me with a spoon, this is awful! The acting switches from being decent to abhorrent in a flash, nothing is scary, no tension is built, no characters are likeable, none are worth following and by the end of the movie, you just throw your hands up and say "WELP, NOT GONNA GET THAT TIME BACK!"11. "God's Not Dead"
I'm a man of basic Christianity, meaning I do believe in God, but not really interested in all of the machinations and particulars of it. What I can't stand is when movies about religion pander to the lowest common denominator. There's nothing wrong with having a movie to teach about God and Religion, but this movie doesn't teach. It instead stands there and has the nerve to say that God exists and anyone who doesn't believe it is a jackass. But it simply can't tell you that, it has to shove it down your throat, just like I did with a bunch of marshmallows one time. But that's a whole other story. None of the actors are even the slightest bit good, save for Kevin Sorbo, none of the characters are likeable and make you want to root for them, the main kid comes off as a giant prick rather than a man standing up for himself when he comes under scrutiny, Willie Robertson pops up because "Duck Dynasty" is popular! And he's Christian! So why not?! Looking for an exciting climax to offset this mildly interesting concept? Gah, how silly you can be! Let's, instead watch a Christian rock band shamelessly promote themselves by simply showing up! Brilliant! Not since sliced bread has something this revolutionary come along! How's this for a plot: I sit there for an hour and a half and just spout out nonsense? I mean Hamburgers can tell the future! I'm callin' it!
10. "Endless Love"
As if "The Best Of Me" wasn't enough, we had this early year muck to slog through. Never having read the original novel of which this was based on, the original 1981 film with Brooke Shields is no great shakes either, featuring some rather questionable writing choices and eyebrow-raising acting, the remake makes the earlier film look like a better film in comparison("masterpiece" is too erroneous for that kind of movie). Take the two main characters played by "Can't act" and "Can't manage to make any other facial expressions other than 'lost puppy' and 'awkward sensuality'". They play the two "star-crossed lovers" whose relationship is compromised when the girl's dad disapproves of her new boyfriend. Of course he is. What the writers fail to recognize is that these two are shown graduating high school in the very first scene. What does that mean? That means, quite simply, you're adults! You can do what you want, as long as it isn't hurting anyone! Bruce Greenwood, who plays the dad in question, is the only marginal reason as to why this isn't lower. From what I hear, the author of the book isn't too thrilled with this movie saying that, SURPRISE, This has very, very little to do with his book. The "acting", if one chooses to deem it worthy of that, is pretty flat and the story is an inconceivable bore. 9. "Not Cool"
Hey, are you a fan of Shane Dawson? Do you like nothing but disgusting racial, homophobic, misogynistic and sexual humor? Then oh, my God is "Not Cool" the movie for you! For everyone else with moral standards and a zero tolerance level for this garbage, "Not Cool" was the result of a reality series competition called "The Chair"(which is an amazing show), in which two directors had to make their own vision from the same source material. How this one was the winner(Anna Martemucci's "Hollidaysburg" was far, FAR better and should have been the winner) I don't fully understand. By Dawson making a movie strictly appealing to only his fan-base and not to a wider audience, he's not really gonna get far. He's like me, he wants to get out there and make movies. There's just one small problem: He can't make a friggin' appealing movie if he only appeals to 13-17 year old Boys and Girls, thus, this is the reason why the film fails. The story is harmless enough, that of a group of friends coming home for Thanksgiving break, but once you get past the opening 2 minutes(which features a homeless man eating his own leavings from a cup), it goes severely downhill. Jokes about statutory rape, abortion, glory holes, plenty of gay stereotypes, gang rape and having the BALLS to sit there and extensively make fun of mentally handicapped people, just so it can give 12 year-old's the giggles and "Not Cool" serves as one of the worst films I've seen in a while. Were it not for the tremendous Cherami Leigh in the main role, this would be the worst of the year. 8. "Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones"
This film series is what started the true downfall of horror movies. This is what drained the genre of almost all originality. While we're at it, it's destroyed any other original found footage films forever. I can't really say too much about this either. All it is, is "Paranormal Activity" in the hood. "Spooky" things start happening. People die. The end. There is, however, one potential idea that could work that's thrown in, that of a using a Simon Says to communicate with the dead, but do they use that gimmick properly? No.
7. "Left Behind"
A movie about the rapture? AND it has Nicholas Cage? Oh, my God, that's just gotta be great, right? No! Instead, what we get is a full 110 minutes of nothing but absolute boring trifle that Nic Cage happens to be in. Based off of the bestselling novel by Tim LeHaye and Jerry B Jenkins and a remake of the film series with Kirk Cameron(the star of this year's ridiculous looking "Saving Christmas"), the remake follows a group of people on a plane as the Rapture starts to overtake. That's it. As far as Nic Cage goes(one of the greatest actors of all time), his goofy zaniness could have been turned up to the Nth degree here, but somehow, he just walks around, really bored with himself. I understand that the man's going through some tax problems right now, and has to say yes to anything, but did you have to do this? For Cage enthusiasts, stick with his 4 best movies: "8MM", "Drive Angry", "Kick-Ass" and "Matchstick Men". The rest of the performers are terrible too, with poor Lea Thompson thrown in here for no reason. The sad fact is, you can make an interesting film about the Rapture and have it be really compelling and thought provoking, but, when you hand the reins to people who don't know what they're doing, it's quite disastrous. Maybe Cage should have made like Lenny Kravitz and flown away from this movie as soon as the script was tossed at him.6. "Ouija"
"Ouija"(pronounced "Wee-Ja", not "Wee-Gee") is an utter anomaly of horror-stupidity. The film follows a group of teens(realistically portrayed by 27 year-olds), who come together to find out the mystery behind the haunting Ouija Board that they believe took their friends life. That's it. That's all there is to it. I've seen some really stupid ideas for horror movies, but the Ouija board is actually ripe with potential, but thanks to a script that is so by the numbers that it's painful, the film is weighed down by the typical jump scares, the absolutely atrocious acting and some of the downright worst horror tropes to be seen in a while. I really can't go that much deeper than that. If you've seen bad, cliched horror films of this variety then you know what to expect.
5. "America: Imagine The World Without Her"
The biggest inflammatory film of the year, the documentary takes all but 2 minutes to mention the director's previous work, proudly touting that it's the SECOND highest grossing political doc of all time. The film proposes some outrageously ludicrous statements, such as slavery was OK, because many forms of that running rampant at this time. It was OK to take land from the Native Americans because many forms of "Trade" were going on at that time. This movie's absolutely 100% ridiculous with co-director and narrator Dinesh D'Souza acting like a know-it-all dickhead that basically comes out and say that if you don't believe in a single word he says, then you're wrong. Why are you wrong? 'Cause he said so.
4. "The Unauthorized Saved By The Bell Story"
Where to even begin with how apathetically stupid of an idea this was for a movie. Based on the "Tell-All" book by Dustin Diamond that tells what "really" happened behind the scenes of "Saved By The Bell". As far as the actual show goes, it's not all that good, in my opinion. I was never that big a fan of it. More of a "Family Matters" man, myself. Apparently, Mark-Paul Gosselaar was a giant douchebag, Diamond smoked weed on several occasions and many love triangles happened on and off the set. The day I believe any of that is the day I quit being a writer and give up on everything. The acting by the child actors(who, by the way, didn't even know what "Saved By The Bell" was until filming got underway) are utterly wretched, with the two biggest offenders are Sam Kindseth as Diamond and Dylan Everett as Gosselaar. You would think that at the end of the movie, the filmmakers would actually show you a little bit of what each cast member did after the show went off the air, including the TV spin off's and movies they did, right? Nyoo, instead you get Screech, who serves as the Zack Morris narrator here, telling us, very hastily, what theyall did. They don't even have the decency to at least show a dramatization of the episode involving Jessie's caffeine pill addiction("I'm so excited, I'm so excited, I'm so...scared!"), but no, let's waste our time with petty malarkey that even Diamond(who claims that the book was written by a ghostwriter) denounces. If your looking for the famous "Hey, hey, hey, what is going on here?" uttered by Mr. Belding, you're not gonna get is here! The fact that this movie merely just makes a passing mention of "Showgirls" is damning in it's own right.
3. "Wetlands"
Let's make this simple because a majority of what goes on in this film is so graphic and vile, it made me vomit(OK, dry heave is more like it). For the purposes of keeping firends, I'm not gonna delve into this movie because it follows a gross-nymphomaniac f***nut. Everything about this movie is so disgusting, it's unbearable and I'm gonna leave it at that. The only reason it's not #1 is because this I didn't see until way after this list was done.
2. "Best Night Ever"
The directing duo known as Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer are the cinematic equivalent of an evil dictator. They torture us with momentous piles of un-watchable garbage and, folks, this might be the last straw. As soon as "Best Night Ever" had concluded, I was almost broken. The movie, which follows a group of four, of the most unbearble irritating women to ever hit a motion picture, as their planned bachelorette party for their bestie goes awry and wackiness ensues. None of the jokes are funny, ranging from wildly erroneous outdated references to Celine Deon("Muppets Most Wanted" did it better) to a large naked black woman chasing after them for a solid 10 minutes of the 3rd act. What is the point of all of this? Really, what the hell is the point? You two are the biggest shit-makers of Hollywood today. I wish you two would fall off of the face of the earth. Your films leave me shaking with anger and make me want to track you down and inflict physical harm onto the two of you. You know what these two are, in reality? They're two 11-year-old boys stuck in 42-year-old bodies. YET SOMEHOW there was a worse movie this year...1. "Vampire Academy"
Imagine, if you will, a place where adaptations of young adult novels didn't exist. Yeah, we would be deprived of the good ones such as "Harry Potter" and "The Hunger Games", but, after sitting through the full 104 minutes of "Vampire Academy", I'd be OK with that. It takes some serious inept film making for a silly little YA adaptation to be the absolute worst viewing experience of the year, but after watching it, it made me want to take a new direction in life. It made me want to buy a motorcycle, get a leather jacket with the sleeves torn off and ride out on the open road as "This Life" by Curtis Stigers & The Forest Rangers, just thinking about a new path. A new direction. Godawful doesn't even begin to describe how bad this is. Let's start with Zoey Deutch, who has the dutiful task of portraying our main character. If you take the dry humor of Ellen Page from "Juno" and meshed it together with the Badass-ness of Chloe Grace Moretz from "Kick-Ass" and just desecrated it, stabbed it in the heart and twisted the knife until you pull the heart out, you'd have the horridness that is her performance. And she's supposed to be the one we like and WANT to follow? Just perfect. Adding more fuel to the fire are the plain boring and uninteresting supporting characters, Would-be attempts at humor and, quite frankly, some of the worst writing ever put to film in the history of cinema. What's even more baffling is that fans of the novel loved this and even campaigned to have a sequel made! Thankfully, and I mean THANKFULLY, this bombed in theaters and we'll never see another one of these movies again.
The Best Films Of 2014
Honorable Mentions: "3 Days To Kill", "A Million Ways To Die In The West", "A Walk Among The Tombstones", "Big Hero 6", "Blue Ruin", "Chef", "Dom Hemingway", "Draft Day", "Dumb And Dumber To", "Elaine Stritch: Shoot Me", "Enemy", "Force Majeure", "Fury", "Grand Piano", "Guardians Of The Galaxy", " "How To Train Your Dragon 2", "If I Stay", "Jodorowsky's Dune", "Joe", "Laggies", "Life Of Crime", "Locke", "Men, Women & Children", "Mr. Peabody & Sherman", "Neighbors", "Night At The Museum: Secret Of The Tomb", "Non-Stop", "Rosewater", "Sabotage", "Sin City: A Dame To Kill For", "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles", "The Amazing Spider-Man 2","The Fluffy Movie", "The Gambler", "The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1", "The Imitation Game", "The Interview", "The LEGO Movie", "The Raid 2: Berandal", "The Tale Of The Princess Kaguya", "The Theory Of Everything", "This Is Where I Leave You", "Under The Skin", "Veronica Mars", "What If", "X-Men:Days Of Future Past"
20. "Veronica Mars"
Let me just say that I'm a marshmallow(what us fans call ourselves) and I'm proud. I was so enraptured by this movie and the amount of effort the filmmakers put into it is bliss. Picking up nine years after the series left off, Veronica has now moved onto a quieter life. She's suddenly pulled back into the game when her old flame Logan comes calling. His ex-girlfriend, Carrie Bishop, has been found dead and all fingers point to him. Determined to prove him innocent, she comes running back to her old hometown of Neptune to work the case, all while a 10-year High School reunion is fast approaching. Everything about this movie is purely fan service, but just because you aren't privy to the show doesn't mean you can't follow along. The film does a well-enough job of explaining past events. The star performer, front-and-center is the endlessly dazzling Kristen Bell, giving a "screw-you" attitude all the way, fitting her way back into the role that shot her into stardom. The film features smart writing and a compelling narrative that's surprisingly twisty the further it goes along. "Veronica Mars" is a wonder to behold, showing that Fans for this film are still alive and kickin'. Now if only we could get my favorite TV series("Chuck") a movie the same way this did...19. "Lucy"
This movie is NOT scientifically accurate. I wanna get that out right now. My mom is in absolute adoration with this movie and keeps spouting to people info that this movie spills out as if she was the next Bill Nye(sorry all Beakman fans). Regardless, the film is expertly crafted, telling the story of a woman(Scarlett Johnasson) that can use more than 10% of her brain. The action is crafted very, very well, with Scarlett distancing herself well from her Black Widow role and the film moves at a very clip rate, clocking in at only 90 minutes and the visual effects look beautiful. Luc Besson(famed action director and producer), directs something that feels almost like a passion project. They have announced plans for a sequel. Kinda impossible considering how this ends, but I wouldn't give it away. Just know that for an action film, this is the one where you put your feet up on the lacquer coffee table with a bowl of popcorn and watch.18. "Horrible Bosses 2"
I see your raised eyebrows gazing at the computer screen so you can lower them now. I'm allowed a couple movies that got a bad rap that I enjoy, am I not? Sure, this isn't the most amazing thing ever(to potheads, it might be), but I laughed quite a bit. I was a huge fan of the first one so I was really excited for this. Keep in mind, I'm not some asshole on the street who thinks only movies that have very subtle humor, like winks and nods to their grandmother's chicken soup recipe, are funny. I like stupid humor(when it's done WELL). Following their escapades from the first film, the trio of undernourished workers(Jason Bateman, Charlie Day and Jason Sudekis) create a new product called the "Shower Buddy"(formerly Daddy("Why would your buddy be in the shower with you? Why would your Dad?!"). A wealthy CEO and his son(Christoph Waltz and Chris Pine) plan to pick up many units of the product only to steal the idea for themselves. Angered, they plan a kidnapping plot for revenge. What more do you want? It's silly.
17. "The Grand Budapest Hotel"
Wes Anderson is give or take for people. Some people don't like his films because they have an odd sense of quirkiness about them that people aren't used to. I, however, quite enjoy his films and "The Grand Budapest Hotel" is another great one. Following many guests of said hotel, the film treats every character as if they were the star of the film. The art direction, cinematography and sets are a wonder to behold and the ensemble cast are eclectic and beautiful. If Anderson were to do a follow-up to any of his films(highly unlikely), this and "Fantastic Mr. Fox" are the ones I wanna see continuations of because the way he makes his films are indelible and endlessly fun to watch.
16. "Muppets Most Wanted"
"The Muppets" was my absolute favorite film of 2011, everything about it so sweet, charming, cute, fun and so well-done, that it's one of the few films that I've seen in theaters twice. So when a sequel was announced, I was VERY excited. Needless to say, it didn't disappoint. The film is an espionage satire which follows Kermit getting mixed up for a Russian frog look-a-like. Cameos and Musical numbers ensue, but none of it feels forced. The Muppets are as fun as they've ever been, the core human actors(Tina Fey, Ricky Gervais and Ty Burrell) look to be having a ball, the globe trotting plot allows for some beautiful locations and the musical numbers(highlights include "We're Doing A Sequel" and "The Big House") are so much fun. I felt a sense of warmth whilst viewing the film, like someone was giving me a big hug for nearly two hours.
15. "Captain America: The Winter Soldier"
Marvel must feel like a precious newborn because they haven't made a misstep yet with the MCU. "Captain America: The Winter Soldier" is the best of the standalone films in the MCU(movies that aren't "Marvel's The Avengers" and "Avengers: Age Of Ultron") for me. The film has spectacular and elaborate action scenes(some of which shot about 20 minutes from where I live), the acting is very well done and the best aspect for the whole thing is the chemistry between Cap and Black Widow(which was unceremoniously thrown out the window in "Avengers: Age Of Ultron"), feeling like two people who could live a nice life together if it weren't for the whole superheo thing and trying to save the world. One day, Chris Evans and Scarlett Johansson will make a very sweet romance film, but for now, I like what I see.
14. "Boyhood"
So out of all the critical darling films on this list, I was quite fond of "Boyhood". Me being 17(and a boy), I personally can't attribute for some of the stuff presented here. For example, I never smoked or drank(nor do I plan to. Stuff like that is extremely unappealing to me) and I never had any interest in dating(until recently. Shhhhh). Bu that doesn't mean that many men in their youth have. "Boyhood", which was shot over a period of 12 years, follows Mason(Ellar Coltrane) as he goes from age 6 to 18 and the natural things that a boy goes through. Along for the ride are his separated parents(Ethan Hawke and Patricia Arquette) and his sister(Lorelai Linklater) as he goes through the turmoil of being a boy. Absolutely engaging for all of its 166 minute run-time, the performances never once feel fake and the writing is very, very strong for something like this. They say that a follow-up is in the works. I say, why not?
13. "John Wick"
Children, there are sick, disgusting people who hurt people and animals for no reason. These people are called "assholes". A murdered beagle puppy is the driving force of the plot of "John Wick", a wildly fun action film that effectively solidifies the return of Keanu into cinema. The cute little beagle was a gift from his dying wife. After a group of Russian thugs bust in and attack him and kill his doggie(Daisy). He decides that he's gonna go bust some mother eff's up and show that you don't mess with a person's pets. Keanu gives a unusually strong performance for an action flick, the film's look is very sleek and the action is top notch. The sequence with him enacting a shootout in a nightclub with Kaleida's "THINK" looms over the scene is the best movie moment of the year.
12. "The Equalizer"
If you hurt an animal, you're a prick who doesn't deserve to take care of anything in his life, but if you hurt a human being, a woman no less, death penalty. Bar none. You're a sick disgusting human being who deserves to be burned at the stake. That's Denzel's mindset in "The Equalizer". When a young girl(Chloe Grace Moretz) forced into prostitution gets the hell beaten out of her, Denzel comes to the rescue with profound skills and forte. I might sound like a broken record her but, again, the vigilante style action is great, the performances are nothing less than exceptional and the soundtrack, which features Eminem(always a plus) gives the proceedings an added bang.
11. "Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie"
Internet people, I'm about to give a very basic history lesson. For those unfamiliar with James Rolfe, "The Angry Video Game Nerd" is a character he created to give bad games an ass whooping. Now, after 4 long years of waiting(it was announced in 2010), the film has finally seen the light of day and it is so, so good. The Nerd's most requested review is for Atari's "E.T." After some tough convincing, The nerd finally breaks down and agrees to review the game, to prove that it's not as bad as everyone thinks. Everything is his film is made for film lovers by a film lover. The performances are game and the action is all mostly done with practical effects, a form rarely seen nowadays. I raise my glass to you Rolfe.
10. "Birdman Or (The Unexpected Virtue Of Ignorance)"
Let me just say: I LOVE MICHAEL KEATON. Let me also say that I LOVE EDWARD NORTON. Put those two in a film together, along with a very stellar ensemble, a director who knows what he's doing and a story worth watching unfold, and you have "Birdman". God, do I love me some Keaton. Here, he plays a retired superhero actor and is planning on directing a play adaptation of Raymond Carver's "What We Talk About When We Talk About Love", which might not go as how he hoped. All performers know what they're doing and the other supporting players(Emma Stone, Zack Galifinakis, Naomi Watts and so on) make the film so interesting to watch. The film is made to look like it was done in one single take up until the final few minutes and because of that, it's hard to look away. "Birdman Or(The Unexpected Virtue Of Ignorance)" is an utter delight to behold.9. "22 Jump Street"
By far and away the funniest film of the year, "22 Jump Street" brings back Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum(oh Channing! *swoon, swoon*) for a second dip into the undercover pool, as they find themselves at college doing another drug bust when a student dies of an overdose. College gags and friendly camaraderie and butting heads ensue, but what makes this film so great is that it doesn't seem forced. It knows that it's a silly movie and that some people in the audience might think it's a lackadaisical sequel. Channing and Jonah fit back into their roles like well worn gloves with Ice Cube lending great humor, returning as his Captain Dickson and the spring break climax that closes out the film is both chaotic and silly. Allow me to close out with one of the best scenes of the film: Jonah doing beat poetry: "Slam poetry. Yelling. Angry. Waving my hands a lot. Specific point of view on things. Cynthia. Cyn-thi-a. Jesus died for our Cyn-thia's. Jesus cried. Runaway Bride. Julia Roberts. Julia Rob-hurts. Cynthia. Mmmmmmm Cynthia, you're dead. You are dead. Be boop beep, you're dead."
8. "The Judge"
"The Judge" is a performance movie, through and through. It's a movie to showcase how good actors are at handling certain material. Nothing wrong with that because Robert Downey Jr. and Robert Duvall butt heads as a father and son with the same career. Duvall is accused of murder and Downey Jr. is the one who has to defend his father on the stand. The story is well crafted and the performers are exceptional. This has to be the best performance that Robert Downey Jr. has given on the sliver screen and Duvall is wonderful as always.
7. "American Sniper"
Of course this is on here. I'm not a guy who always stands up on the 4th of July and screams "America F*** Yeah!" at the top of his lungs. I just like a good war movie and this one's a bit different. Bradley Cooper portrays the late Chris Kyle and his home life after coming home from the war. Frankly, all I can say is that Cooper and Sienna Miller are fantastic and the film never feels forced. The film is a fitting eulogy to a man who served his country and loved his family.6. "Inherent Vice"
This is a very tricky movie to talk about because it takes more than one viewing to decide what one thinks of the final product and because if one delves into the story too much, it could ruin the surprises. What I can say is that the film is absolutely wonderful. Joaquin Phoenix fits into the role of Doc, a detective who likes to smoke Mary Jane and always gets the job done, but when a man of prestigious honor goes missing, he's assigned to the task. Hazy and beautifully poetic at the same time, everything about it so indelibly handsome that if I say anymore, I'm gonna give things away.5. "Nightcrawler"
Jake Gyllenhaal is one of the greater actors working today. The fact that he wasn't even nominated for Best Actor at the past Oscars for his performance in this film is baffling. Gyllenhaal plays Louis Bloom, a man with a police scanner and camera in hand. He listens along to the police scanner listening for any crimes being committed so he can go there and record the aftermath of the crimes so he can send the footage into the news and earn money off of it. Naturally, you can guess, he not only becomes a big hit, but his behavior gets stranger and stranger as the story plays out. The movie really is an Oscar baby that was abandoned at the steps of the firehouse in late October. Shame, but now that it's out on home media, you can watch it and decide for yourself as to whether you agree or not(although you should agree).
4. "Edge Of Tomorrow"
The fact that this movie failed at the box office in the U.S. is due to the fact that audiences chose to see the cute, but overrated "The Fault In Our Stars" that same week. Why see an adaptation of a really awful book(surprise, surprise) when you can see as original and engaging as this? The story of a man who frequently repeats past events after dying, the film is like a video game version of "Groundhog Day", only more violent than Bill Murray driving himself off a cliff! Tom Cruise is endlessly likeable to the point where I don't see why people despise him as an actor. Emily Blunt is equally amazing as his partner Rita and the story and action mesh so well together, it's unbelievable. When the highlight of the movie is the whole entire thing, it's quite astonishing. Plus, it's very exciting to see how he works out the same day over and over, getting a step further every time, it becomes almost tantalizing to watch. I wish more movies were made like this but, nowadays, they get swept under the rug, and It's a shame. Damn you, John Green.
3. "Gone Girl"
Of course the critical darling is on my list, but there's a reason for that: It's really damn good! In telling the story of Nick Dunne(Ben Affleck) and the mysterious disappearance of his wife Amy(Rosamund Pike), Gillian Flynn, adapting from her own book, weaves a terrifying tale that makes men look over there shoulder that their partner might be scheming to kill them. Yeah, because 92-year-old Rosie from the nursing home is gonna kill her husband, right? Affleck, Pike, Carrie Coon, Neil Patrick Harris and even Tyler freakin' Perry are great in this! The suspense is so well crafted that the tension that emanates from it is so thick, you could cut it with an axe. The best part about the film? When the big twist is revealed halfway throughout, the 2.5 hour movie suddenly becomes only an hour because the movie has you wrapped around it's dainty little finger.2. "Interstellar"
It might be nearly three hours long, but every single second of "Interstellar" is awe-inspiring and wondrous to behold. The film has many detractors saying that the science is inaccurate, but who cares? It's Matthew McConaughey in space! Who wouldn't wanna see that? He gives such a heart-breaking performance, it's almost baffling that it's coming from the same guy who starred in "How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days". But the best part of the movie is Anne Hathaway. She is one of the best actresses working today and the fact we get to see her give another tremendous performance is alright by me. The effects are dazzling and the space setting is jaw-droppingly beautiful. Whenever Matthew or Anne look in the distance, just looking at the sights' they're currently surrounded in, The viewer does too because those sights are stunning to behold with your own two eyes.1. "St. Vincent"
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