TeamSickness

Saturday, February 14, 2015

"Fifty Shades Of Grey"(2015) REAL Film Review

3.5/4 Stars

Rated R For Strong Sexual Content Including Dialogue, Some Unusual Behavior And Graphic Nudity, And For Language.

2hrs 5min/125min.

7 F-Bombs
6-7 Sex Scenes
12 Lips Bitten

Christian Grey: "I exercise control in all things."

In that previous review I had so eloquently written, I tried conveying my opinions into how the two main characters would talk to each other, through e-mail, like they do in the books. Yes, I've read the "scandalous" books. They're nothing too special, although I was quite arous-I mean intrigued, when they announced they were filming a theatrical adaptation of the decidedly graphic "Twilight" Fan-fiction. Fun Fact: Look on one of the very first pages of any of the three books. You will find a passage, on the same page as all of that copyright jargon, that reads, "This author published an earlier, serialized version of this story online with different characters as "Master Of The Universe" under the pseudonym 'Snowqueen's Icedragon'". These books are very poorly written but are so entertaining that it's actually hard to put them down. 

So how does this film adaptation play out? Surprisingly, really conflicting. On a deeper level, the movie has some very inconsistent moments and Jamie Dornan, well, we'll get to the acting later. But, BUT The film is very entertaining to watch, especially comparing it to the book, if you have read it. Apparently, most of the people at my, very PACKED, Thursday night pre-screening of the film, had not, because when the film abruptly ended, as does the book, and were PISSED. I turned and told them that, that was how the book ended to which I was met with multiple people shouting at me: "I haven't read it yet!" You had all the time in world to read it. You couldn't have been THAT busy. More about that in the video review coming soon.

Anastasia Rose Steele(Dakota Johnson) is tasked with interviewing rich, wealthy dickhe-I mean, bachelor Christian Trevelan Grey(Jamie Dornan) after her friend Kate Kavanaugh(Eloise Mumford) falls ill, for the college newspaper. After the interview goes a bit hasty, she runs into him again at the hardware store she works at, buying cable ties, rope and masking tape. Wondering about this new elusive man to enter her life, he warns her to stay away from him, even though he wants nothing of the sort. When she spends more time with him, he introduces her to his singular tastes. Dominance(Choke me, because I said so). Submissiveness(Stroke me and feed my ego). What is this crazy new world she's been brought into? She likes it. Maybe a little too much for her to handle(I'll be your Bad Girl, don't you know?). She wants more(Come get it, now or never), and more(I'll let you do whatever), and more(I'll be your Bad Girl, don't you know?). Is she playing with fire, or is she exploring new sexual tastes, she never knew she had?

Let's talk about the acting. Dakota Johnson is absolutely wonderful as Anastasia. Not only is this actress strikingly beautiful in the part, but she fleshes the character out, more so than she was in the book. In the book, she was a 1 dimensional floozy, but in the movie, she owns the role, performing some of her lines with comedic intent, and having two sides, one side that's bashfully cute and the other that's sexually devious. Jamie Dornan on the other hand, is like a giant hunk of wood. He doesn't really interact with Johnson very well, leading viewers to believe that maybe Charlie Hunnam might have been the better choice. He does, gleefully, ham it up in some moments, but there is one line that gets under my skin, In one scene where Ana wakes up in his hotel room after a drunken night of fun, she asks if he slept with her to which he replies, "I'm not into necrophilia". If the screenwriters were smart enough to change one word from the book, they would know that it should have been "I'm not into Rape". Necrophilia doesn't make sense unless she died of alcohol poisoning in the middle of the night.

How are the sex scenes? Disappointingly tame. Every single scene lasts a solid minute and is just a bunch of fancy camera angles showcasing Miss Johnson's body. Another small detail, no one in this film "reaches the top of the mountain", if you will. If the whole point of this story was to be kinky, then why are thee two people not receiving any sexual pleasure from it? That's like watching "Die Hard" and then stopping the movie right after Hans and his men take the tower, or something like that.  The soundtrack though, is very top-notch, with both original and other music making a beautiful melody. The film is shot beautifully, this is a very wonderful movie to look at. 

So, is "Fifty Shades Of Grey" worth recommending? Absolutely! I was delightfully entertained the whole way through.  Criticisms aside, the movie does wrap you up and keep you in it's grasp for the full 125 minutes. Just remember two things when the movie ends: 1, That's how the first book had ended and 2. The other two books are being adapted as well. Just don't bring your own "toys" if you will, theaters have made a ban on that. How would I know? A little reading online doesn't hurt. I can't wait for the other two movies. Especially the second one, because the book was EXTREMELY...hot, I guess.  

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